Since it's been so very long since my last post, I decided it fitting to write about nothing related to cooking whatsoever. I honestly have no idea whether anyone is even still reading... so I'm treating this like a Facebook post...but hopefully less annoying.

Facebook. They really rope ya in, don't they. You sign up for an account thinking...ah, what the heck. Then suddenly you are linked to people that you never really wanted to know THAT well.

And now you are reading every stinkin boring post they make.

And you just want it to stop!

But how do you disconnect from someone without hurting their feelings???

There's a difference between having a casual conversation with someone at work, and seeing everything they do in their personal life. Puh leez!!!

And as long as I'm at it...don't we all work with some really stupid people???I'm not naming names here, but it's true!

And just when you think you've determined who is the dumbest of them all...someone comes from behind to take the lead.

I think blogging is just as therapeutic as posting on Facebook...but less annoying.

After all...if you're here, you either like what you read or you're psychotic. My money's on the later.

If you're one of those people that likes to skip to the end of a book to read the last chapter first...let me save you some time. The net result is a recipe for some pretty darn good chocolate chunk cookies, that are gluten free and just happen to be made with agave nectar. If all you're looking for is the pictures and recipe then go ahead and skip to the bottom. If you want the story...here it is.

It all started last weekend (Saturday) when my son looked up at me and said "Momma. This is my super blaster and makes people want to blast things."

Me, feeling a little under the weather responded. "Yeah, well this is my super belly and it makes people want to exercise."

Sigh...Time to go on a diet. The holidays are coming; I have cute fall clothes to wear that just happen to be a size to small; we're going home for Christmas and I don't want to hear relatives comment "Looks as if you've taken this food thing a little too seriously." So...what to do.

I rummaged through Experience Magazine (Lifetime Fitness freebie with membership) and read a featured article on liver detox. This caught my eye, "Many people experience significant and immediate weight loss on this program, but the net benefits for energy and long-term health are every bit as dramatic."

I was in at "significant and immediate weight loss."

At a high level, the plan calls for eliminating caffeine, all sugars (refined, artificial and honey), gluten and trans fats. There are a number of things that you should consume (apples, oranges, leafy greens, etc) but when it comes to dieting I'm all about knowing what I need to leave out. Consuming things has never been an issue. It's the elimination that I struggle with.

I successfully participated in the plan for 4 days. And felt lousy. And lost no weight. None. Nothing. Zip.

On the evening of the fourth day I decided to do a little research on the author. And...I discovered that in addition to coming up with this detox plan she believes that using cell phones makes you fat.

Sheesh. Why don't I look before I leap? I suffered four days because I believed that someone (who just happens to think that using cell phones make you fat) knew more about nutrition than me.

So, needless to say, I'm off the detox program.

The truth of the matter is that there is no magic formula for weightloss. Eat less and exercise. If you put less into your body than you use, you will lose weight. Very simple.

BUT...something good did come from the detox plan. I learned to use Agave Nectar in more things (Agave has a lower sugar content than honey or sugars) and I developed a large amount of empathy for people that cannot tolerate gluten. Gluten is in practically everything (that I typically eat at least). It's a protein that is found in refined wheat products...think bread, pasta, even some soy products. I personally found that by cutting down the amount of sugar and gluten that I consumed, I felt better, had more consistent energy levels and less cravings.

If you'd like to give it a try...check out these cookies. They are gluten free and use Agave Nectar. I like them as much (if not more) than a traditional chocolate chip cookie. They stay moist and are quite simple to prepare. Since they are made with dark chocolate which tends to be less sweet than milk chocolate, kids don't usually find them quite as yummy. (At least mine didn't)  Dark chocolate tends to suit the taste buds of older folks, since our preference moves toward bitter from sweet.

Pulse blanched almonds in food processor until texture resembles that of flour. 2-3 minutes.

Combine almond flour, salt and baking soda in a large bowl. Whisk.

In a smaller bowl, combine melted butter, vanilla and agave nectar. Whisk.

Mix the wet ingredients into the dry. Stir in the chocolate pieces.

Roll into balls the size of a golf ball. Place on cookie sheets lined with parchment paper. 9 cookies per sheet (they spread when baking)

Bake for approximately 10 minutes until the outer edges are a nice brown color and the top of the cookies are beginning to turn golden in color.

Who is the last person that ever heard a dinosaur? Exactly! So why do we think they roar?

What if they quacked like a duck? Or squeeked like a mouse? Or blabbered?

Maybe some dinosaurs evolved to live with us and aren't extinct at all. Maybe they eat chocolate Teddy Grahams for breakfast and run around grabbing anything they can reach.

Sure, no one's seen a T Rex in some time, but did you ever look for a Blabbersaurus? I bet you've seen one, or may even have one living in house!!!!

Blabbersaurus are sly little creatures. When they don't want to be noticed, they don't make a sound. They diligently go about their business of exploration; quietly burying treasure in unsuspecting places...like the refridgerator, or the carpet, or in under the pillow in your bed.

Sometimes they wake you up suddenly from a dream! Blabbering loudly about it being time to wake up and then running out of the room before they can be indentified. "Blabber  Blabber  Blabber.  Get out of bed.  Blabber.  Blabber."

Blabbersauraus are messy eaters too.  And amazingly picky for being so small and unable to provide for themselves. Most like crackers and chocolate milk, and like to leave crumbs on the floor for other creatures that may stir in the night.

These dinosaurs can definitively detect color. They love bright colors and will decorate walls or floors if given the opporuntity. To a blabbersaurus, everything looks better with glue, glitter, paint, or kool aid on it.

While the blabbersaurus has no natural predators, it has developed a very sophisticated mechanism to conceal its indentity.

On rare occaision, when you catch the prehistoric creature running around, tearing up your house, filling your head with nonsense... the Blabbersaurus does the most unusual thing.

It stops. Right where it stands.  Looks at you. Smiles. And hits you with a hug and a kiss.

The hugs and kisses of a Blabbersaurus are intoxicating.

They make you forget everything you thought you saw.

All the destruction. All the noise.

And you go on...forgetting that you ever saw one of these little creatures in your house.

The Muse Gourmet

The Original Fettucine Alfredo...not the pasta dish with heavy cream sauce that you're thinking of. Turns out, the dish was invented by a Roman, Alfredo di Lelio, for his wife, who lost her appetite after the birth of their son. In an attempt to make an ordinary dish more lavish, he increased the amount of butter used in his traditional fettucie al burro (pasta, butter and parmesan cheese). The result was a dish his wife could not resist.

Thanks to the most recent edition of Saveur, I was able to learn the history of this American favorite and get a fantastic recipe. This is amazing! Absolutely, positively, delicious! Worth every calorie, even if it does mean new bloomers.

The Muse Gourmet

We had friends visit for a long weekend recently.  I have a habit of trying to plan at least one meal that's fun and can be prepared collectively in the kitchen.  I'm a firm believer that the kitchen is great place to make memories, whether you have any experience making what you are attempting to prepare or not.  For me, it's far more enjoyable to make something completely different than preparing an old stand by.  If you know something is guaranteed to turn out, where's the adventure? 

I have always wanted to get one of those kitchen flame thrower torch things.  The kind you'd use to make creme brulee, if you made creme brulee, which I don't.  Anyway, I disgress.  So, I purchased one in advance of their visit.  Then I had to decide what to light up. 

Dessert??? 

No, need something bigger akin to meat on a stick.  A giant roast pig with an apple in its mouth is far more impressive than Banana's Foster.  But, who's going to roast a pig with a hand held flame? 

Hmmm...think smaller.  Ham.  Yes, that's it!  Ham!  I purchased a bone in half ham and decided to take on the challenge of spiral slicing it myself and toasting on a sweet and spicy glaze. 

As for the slicing.  It would have been easier if I had my electric knife (I think), but I now understand why most spiral sliced hams are not cut very close to the bone.  If you cut the slices too close to the bone they fall off.  Apparently it takes a lot of weight at the bottom of a ham slice for support (so you have to stop cutting about 3/4 " from the bone).  That aside.  It's about as hard to slice a spiral ham by hand as you would think...or so I'm told.  I thought that would be a fun little activity for someone else, so I didn't tackle that one myself.  Going forward I believe I will be purchasing a pre sliced spiral ham.

The glaze and the toasting...not hard at all.  You simply mix up the ingredients for the glaze, press it on the ham 1/3 at a time, and brown it on the ham over a medium low flame on your torch thingey.  In between, you turn off the torch, press on more glaze (the ham isn't hot to touch), and toast it again.  It takes about 30 minutes to do the entire ham if you take your time and don't burn anything.  A slow, constant, gently back and forth motion with the flame works best.  (Don't go there)

The Muse Gourmet

Aside from the speed at which we finished the herb garden (read...slooow); my brother would be pleased.  Today is Saturday, which usually means project day,...and today we decided to build a raised garden bed. 

Half way through the project, I got the lawn tractor stuck between two trees.  Don't ask.  I really can't explain.   

So...while the mower was decoupling itself from the trees (read...my dear hubby had to take the deck off to get it to move)...I thought I'd get a start on dinner.  After all, I couldn't really pull off a wedged mower AND frozen pizza.  I didn't have a lot of time, so here's what I came up with, Drunken Chicken!  By the way, the wine was the inspiration.